Finding direction -- the Opportunistic Scavenger vs. the Devout Saint

I have always been envious of people who knew what they wanted to do, i.e., doctor, lawyer, engineer, stockbroker, etc and happily these professions all paid high dividends.  They've figured it all out and now they're going places.  But were they?  I think even the people who "know" what they want to do in life, and happily choose a profession that pays well and is envied in society, actually don't, instead they are fulfilling an expectation, i.e., expectations from parents, from friends, from society, from everyone else but themselves.  And as they gain more social status, achieve more material wealth, it just gets harder and harder to give it up for a dream that may require sacrificing everything for no guaranteed payoff.  Scary!

Finding direction is perhaps one of the hardest things in life.  I've never had direction, I've only had "wants", selfish "wants" such as I want to be famous, I want to be rich and famous, I want to be rich and famous and adored, and the list goes on.  What I wanted wasn't to pursue a dream but to have life handed to me on a silver platter, which has gotten me nowhere.

Now starting on my journey of change, finding direction is the scariest, and most difficult task I have yet to confront.  There is this constant tug-of-war between two personalities: the "opportunistic scavenger" vs. the "devout saint."  The opportunistic scavenger thinks only in terms of rewards, i.e., what can I do to achieve riches and fame and global adoration.  She has no principles, she has no purpose, heck, she has no dream.  She only thinks of me, me, me, and what "I" want from the world, as oppose to what I can give to the world.  The first sign of a challenges sends her fleeing because, heck, she wants rewards not hardships!

The devout saint on the other hand thinks only in terms of how to fulfill her calling in life.  She has principles, she has a dream, she has a purpose, and she has drive.  She lives up to her principles with saintly devotion because she knows those principles will help guide her on her arduous journey to fulfill her purpose in life. She embraces sacrifice as a means to achieve her goal as oppose to obstacles to derail her.  Of course she is plagued with doubts, but she doesn't give into them and pursues her calling like a religion.

Even though I struggle with these two personalities, I know in the end, that it is in the devout saint that I will find true happiness and success.  And I have started on my journey to transform myself into the devout saint, i.e., a person who unwavering pursues her dream in the face of adversity.

Knowing what your true calling in life is difficult.  It's not like in fantasy fiction where you're the "chosen one" and you have one clear destiny to fulfill.  But at the same time, we all do have a destiny to fulfill.  A destiny that goes beyond the mundane "puttering" in pursuit of physical comforts and our station in life.

It is about using your creativity, you talent, your energy to create a masterpiece for yourself and the world. This masterpiece can be mastery of a talent, a skill, an idea, a piece of music/ art/ writing, an act of selfless kindness, or even a fundamental change to human civilization.

In the end, the greatest journey is discovering and unearthing your inner masterpiece.  

I can't tell you what is your true calling, heck! I'm not even sure what mine is.  But it is something you HAVE to discover yourself; the journey is an essential part of the process.  However, there are symptoms to look out for.  If any of these symptoms exists, you better reflect hard on your life and make some changes.

1. You have no goal in mind, except of being rich and famous?
2. You like to blame others and point to excuses for your failures?
3. You have no set principles, and make them up to suit your present mood?
4. You give up at the first sign of hard work?
5. You distract yourself with watching TV, personal grooming, shopping, eating, sending virtual cupcakes to all your friends, or any other activity that is consumptive in nature.  
6. Somewhere deep inside of you, you hear an inner voice that says you're short-changing yourself?