How to gain control over your destiny?

I believe the true challenges in life do not come from outside but instead from within.  In other words, it's the internal conflict we have with ourselves that results in our failures.

For example, let's choose weight loss.  There is a major conflict between our desire to lose weight and eat yummy foods, i.e., wanting to look hot, live healthier, be a better "you" vs. wanting the comfort, instant gratification, and "happiness" that comes from giving into your cravings.

This internal conflict is like a paralysis, because it prevents you from fully exercising and expressing your will, and hence fulfilling your "destiny."  In this case, let's say my true "will" is to lose weight, but I have a terrible weakness for yummy foods, especially the sweet, creamy, gooey type.  Put a chocolate cake with ice-cream and caramel swirls in front of me and I'll sell out my mom!

But every time you "give in", a little part of you becomes more despaired because you've just willingly given up more control of your life (for cake!).  As a consequence, it's not possible that you would be happy, because you're preventing yourself from living a life that you want, instead your life is being controlled, even enslaved by something else. Ironically, this something else is actually of your own doing!

Taking 100% responsibility for your decisions

A common theme among motivational books is the idea of achieving success by taking 100% responsibility for your decisions.  Most of us like to blame external factors for our failures, such as "the dog ate my homework," but when you take 100% responsibility, everything becomes your "fault."  This means zero tolerance for excuses; no more, "I can't lose weight because there are no healthy choices near work," "I can't stand my job," "I can't stand my marriage," "I can't stand my life," or simply "I can't do it because it's too HARD!"

However "true" the excuse is, it is still an excuse because YOU ultimately agree, through the choices you make AND don't make, to the conditions presented to you.  This is at once terrifying as it is empowering, because now it would always be your "fault." But at the same time, you would be empowered to pave your own destiny.

An excuse is still an excuse even though "It's too hard!"

I struggle every day to fully express my will; I struggle with controlling my diet (arrrrr Haagen Dazs....); I struggle with my fears; I struggle with pushing against my comfort zone, as most of us do. And unfortunately, I'm often on the losing end of my struggles, i.e., I give into my cravings (damn those double-fudge cookies), I give into my fears of failure, fears of taking risks, fears of the unknown, even fear of the Ronald McDonald clown!

As a consequence, my failure to gain mastery over myself leads me to make dumb decisions, and hence prevents me from achieving my true goals in life.  But even so, I am not fooled into believing that it wasn't of my own doing.  I am the one who bought that tub of ice-cream, bag of Oreos, box of powered donuts, and the list goes on.

Taking 100% responsibility is not easy, if it were, the quest for happiness and success would not be so elusive.  Nonetheless, I firmly believe that mastery over self gains control over life.  Now isn't that something worthwhile to achieve?